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Body Image

I take several pictures of Patrick and Maddox and hardly ever ask for one with him. If I do ask, I take about seven before I'm content with it. I'm getting too old. Too old to care about what others think of how I look in this swimsuit. These shorts. This dress. That shirt. I wasted much of my adolescent years wearing oversized sweatpants or unflattering tops to hide what I knew was an imperfect body.  It's taken me thirty years...

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DeVos & De Baby

There is something eerie about nighttime. Everyone is quiet. Everything is still. And when there is commotion, it feels chaotic yet incredibly lonely. Deep dark hours of the night have a tendency to swallow up any security I have. It's safe to say that things felt very insecure and uncertain when we rushed Maddie to the ER at 1:30am last Thursday morning. We had spent all day driving home from Indianapolis, turning a 5 hour drive into 10 hours. Maddox had...

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Small Homes Build Tight Families

When Patrick and I were newlyweds we lived in a shoebox of an apartment and I loved it. Our entire lives were in that place. We lived simply and had just enough furniture to function, including a broken love seat as our main living room seating. I didn't buy much home decor, mostly because there wasn't adequate space to decorate. And, actually, those have become such fond memories for me. I'm introverted and Patrick is beyond extroverted. I need quiet time....

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Parenting Rule #1: Any Song Sung Softly Enough is a Lullaby

A friend recently said "Parenting is like folding a fitted sheet. Nobody knows how to do it."  This is more true than anything I've heard in a long time. And if I'm being completely honest, I roll fitted sheets into a ball and shove them into the back of the linen closet. So what does that tell you about my parenting skills? My kid doesn't usually sleep more than twenty minutes at a time during the day. But he sleeps ten straight...

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Talitha Kaum

"No, it's never too late to get an epidural." No greater lie has ever been spoken. On September 9th I checked my blood pressure at home as I often did. I had been suffering from a headache that week, which was abnormal for me during pregnancy (even with high blood pressure). It was 153/113. We threw the hospital bags in the car "just in case" and drove to Rice Lake where we were late to our one and only birth class. We...

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Full Circle

This time last year I was just a few weeks away from learning that I had a miscarriage. We would have a four month old right now. Instead, I am going into the doctor weekly for non-stress tests in anticipation of baby number two's arrival. And it's been a roller coaster of emotions. When we learned that I was pregnant this time, I texted a group of my dear friends and asked for doctor recommendations. I absolutely love my doctor but...

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Grief

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you," Maya Angelou. I had a miscarriage in August. I have set out to blog about six times since my last post. Even perusing the drafts I've written is proof that it's been a struggle. Titles like "Lifeless" sit looming - half written and full of empty words. I've attempted to write about humorous or exciting things that have happened in my life because I really do acknowledge and appreciate them....

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Lonny

(Photo credit: Cara Dee Photography) My uncle was just as much a part of my life as my aunt was. He'd brave freezing cold Lake Huron with me when everyone else sat on the shore. He cheered on my dance recitals and plays just as much as the rest of my family. He'd take my brother and me to county fairs and even hauled a ginormous red stuffed dog home from Florida because my brother won it fair and square and...

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