There is something eerie about nighttime. Everyone is quiet. Everything is still. And when there is commotion, it feels chaotic yet incredibly lonely. Deep dark hours of the night have a tendency to swallow up any security I have. It's safe to say that things felt very insecure and uncertain when we rushed Maddie to the ER at 1:30am last Thursday morning. We had spent all day driving home from Indianapolis, turning a 5 hour drive into 10 hours. Maddox had...
Continue reading
My Dear Sweet Son, You've had a whirlwind of a week. You've been hauled across three states, put to bed in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar apartment. Honestly, I feel I've ripped you away from anyone who knows you well. You'll never know the Northwoods the way you could have, so there's a couple things I want to tell you about the place where you were born. I'm very proud to have been born where I was (in East Michigan), and...
Continue reading
We were wrapping up our 36 week ultrasound, which had to have been our 7th one. Truly. With high blood pressure, my doctor was overly cautious. We were so appreciative of this attentiveness. We loved our Tech too, but she was unusually quiet during this appointment. "You're seeing your doctor today?" she asked. We nodded. I had a passing thought - but that's all it was: a thought. And it wasn't enough to really complete an entire idea and definitely not something...
Continue reading
"No, it's never too late to get an epidural." No greater lie has ever been spoken. On September 9th I checked my blood pressure at home as I often did. I had been suffering from a headache that week, which was abnormal for me during pregnancy (even with high blood pressure). It was 153/113. We threw the hospital bags in the car "just in case" and drove to Rice Lake where we were late to our one and only birth class. We...
Continue reading
This time last year I was just a few weeks away from learning that I had a miscarriage. We would have a four month old right now. Instead, I am going into the doctor weekly for non-stress tests in anticipation of baby number two's arrival. And it's been a roller coaster of emotions. When we learned that I was pregnant this time, I texted a group of my dear friends and asked for doctor recommendations. I absolutely love my doctor but...
Continue reading
Alyssa insisted we do the shower today. I told her I wasn't ready, but all the guests told me this was the only day that could work. So we approached the cafe that I had never seen yet booked, a dark building with hardly any windows. They didn't close the cafe for us. Not only were we not alone, it was also the early bird special so the Q-Tip tour had packed it out. The walls and chairs were covered...
Continue reading