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Home: A Letter to Maddox

My Dear Sweet Son, You've had a whirlwind of a week. You've been hauled across three states, put to bed in an unfamiliar room in an unfamiliar apartment. Honestly, I feel I've ripped you away from anyone who knows you well. You'll never know the Northwoods the way you could have, so there's a couple things I want to tell you about the place where you were born. I'm very proud to have been born where I was (in East Michigan), and...

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Sweet Assurance

We were wrapping up our 36 week ultrasound, which had to have been our 7th one. Truly. With high blood pressure, my doctor was overly cautious. We were so appreciative of this attentiveness. We loved our Tech too, but she was unusually quiet during this appointment. "You're seeing your doctor today?" she asked. We nodded. I had a passing thought - but that's all it was: a thought. And it wasn't enough to really complete an entire idea and definitely not something...

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Russian Roulette

Can we just get real about parties? I'm so bad at them. I love gathering with people. I love warm and cozy homes. I love good food. But sometimes, as in most of my waking life, I do not have it together enough to host these kinds of events. Because I’m a pastor’s wife, it’s probably assumed that I have an innate gift for hosting. I don’t. I really, really don’t. I’m really good at buying dinner rolls and putting...

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Already In Line

Last week was a whirlwind. My sweet and sassy grandma passed away. Patrick, Maddie, and I packed up on Saturday evening and headed down in an attempt to see her one last time. We didn't make it. But we are grateful for her peace and God's true presence and provision in those last hours of her life. We realized Maddox was sick as we were nearing Illinois so I knew we were in for quite a treat. After a nasty cold...

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Parenting Rule #1: Any Song Sung Softly Enough is a Lullaby

A friend recently said "Parenting is like folding a fitted sheet. Nobody knows how to do it."  This is more true than anything I've heard in a long time. And if I'm being completely honest, I roll fitted sheets into a ball and shove them into the back of the linen closet. So what does that tell you about my parenting skills? My kid doesn't usually sleep more than twenty minutes at a time during the day. But he sleeps ten straight...

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Talitha Kaum

"No, it's never too late to get an epidural." No greater lie has ever been spoken. On September 9th I checked my blood pressure at home as I often did. I had been suffering from a headache that week, which was abnormal for me during pregnancy (even with high blood pressure). It was 153/113. We threw the hospital bags in the car "just in case" and drove to Rice Lake where we were late to our one and only birth class. We...

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Full Circle

This time last year I was just a few weeks away from learning that I had a miscarriage. We would have a four month old right now. Instead, I am going into the doctor weekly for non-stress tests in anticipation of baby number two's arrival. And it's been a roller coaster of emotions. When we learned that I was pregnant this time, I texted a group of my dear friends and asked for doctor recommendations. I absolutely love my doctor but...

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Showers (of the Spring and Baby Kind)

I often tell myself that I won't blog unless I have something thought-provoking or funny to say. But I don't want to forget these little moments that are actually very big. I don't want to grow old without remembering this beautiful (yet messy) life of mine and the wonderful people who fill it. So here is a diary entry of sorts: I got to spend the weekend with my very dear friends from college. There were six girls, five babies, and...

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The Darkest Hour

I have written and rewritten posts since December, but no draft ever made it to pen and paper. I'd wake up in the night with the perfect story to type up the next day. It was brilliant, thought-provoking, and beautiful. The next day I would check my notes and find this random misspelled list on my phone: Jerry magire Roller coaster Brain joke I am enough. I could sooner interpret the Icelandic language than I could decipher this message written to myself. I have no...

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Grief

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you," Maya Angelou. I had a miscarriage in August. I have set out to blog about six times since my last post. Even perusing the drafts I've written is proof that it's been a struggle. Titles like "Lifeless" sit looming - half written and full of empty words. I've attempted to write about humorous or exciting things that have happened in my life because I really do acknowledge and appreciate them....

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